November Musing - Part 1

There comes a time when autumn asks, 

"What have you been doing all summer?"

It is never expected - not really, anyway.

Early last summer as I walked by our kitchen window, I glimpsed a dark, blocky shape out of the corner of my eye. We were having some old concrete work replaced out back and it occurred to me that the workers might have propped up a large piece of plywood there. What? Going back to the window, I looked out to see a large black bear standing on its back legs and licking sunflower seeds out of our post bird feeder. Quietly, I summoned my husband and we watched while the bear continued to eat.

 

Temporarily satisfied, he sat down next to the feeder to reflect on what he had done.... well, probably not.

He did seem fairly content, however, until I opened the door and yelled at him, clapping my hands loudly. Begrudgingly, he got up and slowly ambled across the yard, glancing back at me from time to time.

Before he got far, however, he plopped himself down as if seriously contemplating whether or not it really was time to leave.

 

That's when my husband picked up his pellet gun & bounced a pellet off the bear's hind end. No longer feeling comfortable or safe, the bruin took off for the woods - where maybe he could feel both.

 

After the death of my sister nearly two years ago, my brother-in-law remained in their home alone. It's often recommended that the remaining spouse not make any hasty decisions about moving; allowing for the grieving process and establishing a "new norm" takes time. But he was dealing with a progressing dementia and time was definitely not on his side. He was adamant that he was fine and not moving anywhere!


 

His three adult daughters, with vastly different personalities, lived in three different states - none nearby. Somehow, visiting home care was arranged long-distance and life went on after a fashion. He took his daily walks, visited with neighbors, received and made phone calls, and managed to tolerate the daily intrusions of his caregivers, none of whom he'd previously known. He ate his prepared dinners and spent the evenings alone. One daughter, who seemed to be in the best position to do so, suggested that he move near her where she could monitor his care. He wouldn't budge - not even for a visit -  and over the course of a year, and a number of flights for her, all her persuasions led to naught.

No longer having her mother to turn to, this niece would call me when she needed to vent or bounce around her next idea on how to deal with her dad. Mostly I listened, but sometimes I did have suggestions and together we commiserated on a troubling, difficult situation. I had watched my husband attempt to handle the care of his aging parents from long-distance when both suffered from Alzheimer's and refused to move, so I know how difficult this can be. It is worrisome, frustrating, and heartbreaking.  You do what you can, but in the end are left drained and guilt-ridden. I did not want this for my niece and her dad, if at all possible, so tried to be there for her when she needed me.  



Finally, with yet another change in his caregivers, increasing social isolation, and some changes in his behavior which caused more concern, she flew to visit him yet again with one more proposition: he could come to visit her for a month and stay in one of the assisted living facilities he had previously visited and liked. At the end of that month, he could stay or go back home - the decision would be his. We both knew this was risky, for there was no way she could force him to stay, but he finally consented to give it a try.  Her tremendous compassion and patience paid off at last.

 

As it turned out, he liked his new place, made friends immediately, and felt at home there. After that year of mourning his loss, he now realized just how lonely and isolated he'd become. He was finally ready to admit and somewhat accept his failing memory. He decided to move on and enjoy having some family nearby - one daughter, two grown grand-daughters, and his one and only precious great-grandson. 

 

 

After our early summer visit by the large bear, we removed all our bird feeders so that he'd have nothing to come for. It seemed to work and we tried to figure out ways to suspend a couple of the feeders beyond what any bear could reach. Finally, we put two feeders back up - one attached high up on the side of a large, metal outbuilding, and one suspended far up a tree on the outer end of a branch. We did not expect any bear to reach either of these, but late one night a smaller bear came by and tore down the feeder hanging from the tree. We're still not sure how he did that, but he also grabbed a suet feeder hanging high outside a window and carried it off some distance from the house. We've not put either back up. The one remains on the side of the metal building - so far. No matter how hard we try, some things are beyond our control.

 

 

Since my brother-in-law's move, things have changed and life still goes on. It is a bonus for us that he now lives somewhat closer. Some of his own belongings have been transported to his new home and he remembers most of them. His family visits often, yet gives him breathing space and "independence" as much as is possible. He shuffles his important papers and writings numerous times, misplaces and loses things, and thinks they have been stolen. He likes where he lives and the people he's met there - most of the time. He still thinks the city and state he's moved to are strange and says they've always been so - we no longer argue that point. Some things are just not worth discussion any more.

 

 

Sometimes turmoil leads to cohesion. This niece and I have grown closer as a result of family upheaval. She still calls to talk, for all is not settled yet. His previous home has not yet been emptied and put up for sale, which is a concern. There are some financial and legal matters to put in order and two sisters for her to deal with - all of it long-distance. There is the slow, steady decline in her much-loved dad, the only parent she has left. I cannot begin to fill that space in her heart or answer all of her concerns.  I never expected to be in this position, but then no one ever does. I can only give her one thing - time on this end of the line. Time and love, for in the end those are what matter the most.

"Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity." ~ Henry Van Dyke

 

To be continued here:

November Musing - Part 2

 

 

Caring - Feathered or Not

 

"I don't want to make a bird out of a pine cone!" Arriving for the morning's nature study, this rambunctious ten-year-old boy had seen the projects of the six to eight- year-olds strewn about on the table and grass. Those children had chosen a cone, colored and glued on paper wings and bills, and then formed a nest of twigs, grass, moss, dog fur, and - in some cases - mud for it to "nest" in. He did not want to do what the younger kids had done. Of course not.

 "Don't worry," I assured him, "we won't be making any birds." He and his age-mates gathered around as I brought out the various birds' nests that I have collected over the years. Passing them around the circle, I explained how each bird carefully constructs a nest for its young using whatever materials are available that suits it. We had looked at pictures of birds likely to be found in our area and talked about where those nests might be built. Some are high up in trees, made of small branches and added on to year after year; some are found in holes which the birds peck into dead trees, hollowing out a space just big enough for the nest and nestlings. Others are built in low shrubs or on the ground in such a way that they are camouflaged from all but the most observant.  Indeed - the lives of their young depend on it.

"I don't want to make a bird... or a mud nest, either." He was adamant and the others looked as if they might agree. "You don't have to - that's what the younger kids did. You're all older, so we'll do something different - out in the woods." The eyes rolled and the questions started, but I learned long ago that enthusiasm and mystique only add to a learning experience, so plowed on. "You'll see - you'll be constructing something..."

The overall theme of the week was "Under Construction" with a sub-theme each day. We would be delving into how a community shares, cares, worships, and celebrates. My intent was to tie these into nature studies.

 

 

 

 

We had looked into how ants share within their anthill and on this day were learning how hard birds work to care for their young - even before any eggs are laid. And we humans? It definitely takes effort, and sometimes sacrifices, to care for each other. We talked about the ways in which we can show that we do care for others.

 

 

Each child chose a rock and then we were off to the woods. A short ways in they were given their challenge: to pretend their rock was a bird, explore and choose what they thought was a good spot for a nest, construct the nest using whatever they could find, and make sure that their "bird" fit in the nest. Oh - and one more thing. They were each given a simple pair of tongs to use during some of the construction. Birds don't have hands with fingers and thumbs, you know.

 

 

Later, as I related this experience to the mom of that particular boy, she told me of his reaction to this activity. He came out of the woods, sought her out, and exclaimed: "Mom, come see the nest that I made!" While I care deeply about all of the children that I interact with, it's not always easy to get through to them. I have to say - that one statement pretty much made my day!

 

Even the sparrow finds a home,

and the swallow a nest for herself,

where she may lay her young,

at your altars, O LORD of hosts,

my King and my God.

Psalms 84: 3

 

 

Selling their possessions and goods,

they gave to anyone as he had need.

Acts 2:45

All Goes Round

Round

is the sun,

seeming to rise each day

and descend each night,

 

 

providing heat and light and more

than a touch of mystery.

 

 

It is round

we are told,

but we dare not stare it in the face

 

 

to see for ourselves

except in that very rare case.

 

 

Round

is the moon

appearing to rise and traverse the sky.

 

 

Although it may not be fully seen

from where we are,

 

 

so small and far below,

I see its rounded edge.

 

 

I know this is true,

for I have seen its full, round face

 

 

reflecting back the sun's warm glow

more times than you may ever know.

 

 

Round

is the earth

 

 

although I cannot easily detect it,

 

 

nor can you,

nor most others across thousands of years.

 

 

Some, I'm told,

had the depth of curiosity,

 

 

imagination, vision, and fortitude

to prove that it was so.

 

 

And so it is,

as by now we all surely know.

 

 

Round

is found here

- on this earth which hangs suspended

 

 

as if on an invisible cord,

dangling in the immense void -

rhythmically reflected in myriad things.

 

 

I know not how,

nor do most of us, nor do we care,

 

 

which is a shame

 

 

for round is found

most everywhere.

 

 

"The soul goes round upon a wheel of stars and all things return....Good and evil go round in a wheel that is one thing and not many.





 

Do you not realise in your heart, do you not believe behind all your beliefs, that there is but one reality and we are its shadows; and that all things are but aspects of one thing; a centre where men melt into Man and Man into God? ..."

 ~ Gilbert Keith Chesterton

 

Whatizzit? 4 Answer

This turned out to be quite a puzzle, didn't it?  The enlargement shows the lower left corner of a paper wasp's nest with the light on the autumn leaves behind.

 

I like the reference to dark and light, known and unknown, solid ground, flight, and faith in the quotation, all of which seemed to relate to the photograph. I added my own few rhyming words to the clue.

 

 

 

For more on the paper wasps and what I gleaned from this particular nest when I found it, already done serving its purpose and beginning to fall apart, please click here: Leavings

 

The beginning quote is called Faith and is by Patrick Overton. A teacher, scholar, poet, playwright, author, lyricist, speaker, and visual artist, Overton has devoted his entire adult life to exploring human communication, designing and building organizational systems that enhance the development of the human community, and creating innovative resource networks to help people in rural and small communities nurture the invisible culture of Rural Genius.

 

For more information on Patrick Overton:

 

http://patrickoverton.com/bio.html

Whatizzit? 4

"When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing one of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly."   ~ Patrick Overton

 

 

Dark and light

not just in the sky

someone to stand here

and something to fly

 

So what on earth izzit?

Building Project

From the meticulous placing of survey stakes,

 

 

the first tentative scrapings of heavy equipment digging the basement,

 

 

concise placing of massive concrete blocks,

 

 

and synchronized pouring and finishing of concrete,

 

 

to the placing of floor, walls, and rafters,

 

 

giant crane lifting roof beams,

 

  

and complicated placing of the maze of wires, pipes, and septic components, the building addition to our church has become a reality. Did we truly envision how this would be?

 

 Throughout the entire process, each one has had to do their part.

 

 

First, the builders: individual workers - specialists in supervising, surveying, masonry, electrical systems, drainage, construction, roofing, finishing, ad infinitum - have needed to show up, prepared and able to do their job.

 

 

Then, the rest of us: also individuals with varying degrees of interest and ability to help in whatever way possible.

 

 

Some have the dedication, expertise, and time to devote many hours weekly to helping work on-site.

 

 

Others busily plan finishing work - painting, flooring, equipment, furnishings, sound system, and landscaping.

 

 

 

  Some offer encouragement, prayers, warm cookies, and smiles.

 

It has not all been a "piece of cake" because there have been unkind words, frowns, worried looks, and tense moments... sometimes more than just moments. Not all has gone smoothly or exactly as planned. Malfunctioning or missing equipment, incorrect materials, misunderstood information, unforeseen complications, and just plain "goofball" situations have a way of cropping up and muddying the waters, so to speak.

 

 

Flexibility has been needed - and will continue to be - to deal with all the messiness of this building project. 

 

I have no doubt that we will, ultimately, "get 'er done". I firmly believe that this group of people does whatever they set their mind to do; this building has been a looong time coming!

 

  

As summer passes on and the building proceeds towards completion, it is time for each person to ask themselves what more they can do.

 

  

In many ways, the completion of this building is really just a beginning. We each must seriously contemplate and plan for whatever we are able to contribute, whether that be money, committee work, physical labor, food, prayer, encouragement, and/or ideas and planning  for future uses of all this new space.
 

Someday in the future, each of us, our children, grandchildren, or friends will look back and remember this building experience.

 

  

All of the planning, money, blood, sweat, tears, satisfaction, and joy will be remembered as a major milestone in the history of this small church.

 

  

We need to be sure we are each a part of it now.

 

 

In life, any building project is uncertain, messy, challenging - yet exhilarating. Still, to change and grow we must build upon what is today until it becomes tomorrow. Blindly, or with determination, we must step forth in faith...

 

And exactly when will this building process be complete? Probably never - and that is a good thing.

 

In him the whole building is joined together

and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord.

And in him you too are being built together

to become a dwelling

in which God lives by his Spirit.

Ephesians 2:21-22