Proper Handling of Gifts

What is the proper way to treat a lovely gift that you have been given? Would it depend on the value of the gift, who the giver is, or whether or not you plan to pass it on to others? What if your health, your life - and that of others - depended on it?

Shoppers worldwide are using approximately 500 billion single-use plastic bags per year, which is about a million bags every minute across the globe, or 150 bags a year for every person on earth.  If you joined the bags end to end they would circle the globe 4,200 times.

Plastics do not decompose, but merely break up into smaller pieces, although some do break down into polymers and toxic chemicals. It can take anywhere between 20-1000 years for a plastic bag to break up. The #1 man made thing that sailors see in our oceans are plastic bags.

More than a billion people around the world do not have access to safe drinking water, but most countries that buy bottled water do have the luxury of quality tap water.

Each year, 53 billion gallons of bottled water are consumed globally - Americans drink 8.6 billion gallons of those.  17 million barrels (340 million gallons) of oil are used yearly to produce bottled water.

Plastic water bottles take 450 years to break down; only 1 in 5 bottles is recycled. - the other 4 contribute to the 3 million pounds of plastic water bottles added to landfills each year. Some of those end up in the ocean.

Across the world, 13-15,000 pieces of plastic are dumped into the oceans every day and there are believed to now be 46,000 pieces of plastic in every square mile of ocean.

There are 5 ocean gyres in the world where plastic gathers due to current circulation. These gyres contain millions of pieces of plastic and our wildlife feed in these grounds.

At least two thirds of the world’s fish stocks are suffering from plastic ingestion,  

approximately 1 million sea birds die from ingesting plastic,

 

and 100,000 marine creatures a year die from plastic entanglement - these are the ones that are found.

 

Scientists have identified 200 areas in our oceans declared as ‘dead zones’ where no life organisms can now grow.

Is this how we treat gifts given in love?  

 

The heavens are the LORD's heavens,

but the earth he has given to human beings. 

Psalm 115:16

When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers,

the moon and the stars that you have established,

what are human beings that you are mindful of them,

mortals that you care for them?

Yet you have made them a little lower than God,

and crowned them with glory and honor.

You have given them dominion

over the works of your hands;

you have put all things under their feet,

all sheep and oxen,

and also the beasts of the field,

the birds of the air, and the fish of the sea,

whatever passes along the paths of the seas.

O LORD, our lord,

how majestic is your name in all the earth! 

Psalm 8: 3-9

Getting from Here to There

 

Peering out, I see a vast landscape below - wrinkled, rumpled, and worn - spreading out in all directions as far as I can see.

 

 

Appearing as a patchwork quilt, some of it has been cultivated; circles, squares, and rectangles clearly indicate patterns of tilling, planting, and irrigating.

 

 

Some of it is wild and untouched - or nearly so - hills and mountains with rugged edges descending into steep canyons or wide valleys.

 

 

 Throughout the cultivated land, and less so through the wild, run narrow, winding roads, appearing much like pencil lines drawn at random.
 

 

We know that they really are not random, but only appear that way from the air. They each serve a function - most of them, at least - to lead you and me and others from here to there.

As I study these myriad, meandering pathways, the thought occurs to me that we really often have no idea where we're going.

We usually know where we begin our journey and where we want it to end, but no way can we see the entire route. From my vantage point high above, I can easily see the long-range route of each path - the straight, level sections, rolling hilly parts, steep winding curves, and sometimes the dead ends. All of this may be apparent to those who travel those ways frequently, but for others the finding is in the traveling.

 

 

And even if someone were to view their chosen route from high above, carefully plotting their course, the reality of traveling there might be entirely different.

For there are always the unknowns - detours, alternate routes, unforeseen obstacles, unplanned changes, sudden disruptions, and other things we never imagine.

And so it is not always a simple matter to get from here to there.

 

Is this not much the way our lives are - simply trying to get from here and now to there and then?  We all know it is never that easy, for our chosen paths are not always straight, smooth, and even.

Some of us know exactly where we want to go, carefully choosing a direct route that should get us there with a minimum of time and trouble.

Others of us have no idea where we want to go, daily muddling through and taking whichever turn in the road looks like it might lead somewhere, anywhere at all.

 

 

Those who plan carefully may be in for surprise route-changes on the way. Those who wander may stumble onto a route that takes them to a place they never thought they'd be.

 

 

Most of us probably think it's better to plan ahead, but there really are no guarantees. Much of our road in life is simply unknown.

 

 

So what are we to do? There is an African Proverb that says “If you don’t know where you're coming from, you don’t know where you're going.” It is best to figure out where we are now before plotting a course for the future. Weighing our options is always a good idea, as is getting some advice from others who might have taken the same route.

It can be a lonely journey, so we mustn't forget to ask for directions and help when we need it. Together, we can step boldly forward in faith, but we must have some idea of where we want to go. For, as Lewis Carroll wrote: "If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there."

 

 

This is what the LORD says:

       Stand at the crossroads and look,

       ask for the ancient paths,

       ask where the good way is, and walk in it

       and you will find rest for your souls. 

            Jeremiah 6:16

 

Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way, walk in it" 

            Isaiah 30:21

Beyond the Dark

 

It's interesting how one's outlook changes through the years. There was a time when I thought our family was perfectly "normal" - no divorce, addictions, mental issues, different sexual identities, illegal doings.... The few of these things that did exist were not in our immediate family and were never talked about.

 

Only on rare occasions did I overhear adults speaking in hushed tones about such things; therefore, I thought they were practically non-existent. Little did I know...

 

They say that ignorance is bliss, but is it really? Children look to the adults in their lives to show them how to deal with life and all that it throws at one. Not acknowledging nor talking about problems is really not dealing with them at all and is of no help to those around us who care.

 

For when it finally becomes your turn to deal with something "unthinkable" - and your turn will come, I assure you - you will probably have no idea how to do that. Of course no one deals perfectly with the bumps in life's road, but even admitting the hurt, frustrations, and feelings of loss and inadequacy is better than silence. We are all imperfect beings, and helping each other through the rough times is of immeasurable value.

 

I now know that our extended family is a mixed bag, made up of individuals who struggle with all kinds of issues. As a group, we have experienced estrangement, separation, divorce, addiction, depression, personality disorders, mental illness, homosexuality, dementia, prison time, joblessness and homelessness...  For we are, after all, a part of the human family. If you have not had to deal with any of these things, you are indeed fortunate. Going through, or helping someone else get through, rough times can either steel and embitter us OR make us more compassionate. The choice is ours.

 

In this season of darkness, many are hurting. Family, financial, physical and mental problems weigh even heavier on those afflicted amidst the bright lights, hustle, bustle and good cheer that others seem to enjoy. With today a blur and the future unimaginable, many see little hope, if any. Those of us who are able try to offer some measure of help with encouragement, shelter, food, employment, money, and gifts, but often the need runs deeper still. And so we simply BE THERE - in thought, prayer, service, and person. God fulfills His promises through us - lest we forget:

There is a light out there somewhere

far away, flickering on and off

in the distance.

Small and wavering,

seemingly unreachable,

it casts a small glow

into the darkness.

 

 

I have no idea how to reach it

nor even how to begin

to wander in its direction,

for my heart is numb

and my feet are leaden.

Often I cannot see it,

yet I know it is there.

 

 

Silent within the tumult,

it beckons me still,

for I feel its faint echo

somewhere deep within

longing for its warmth

and aching for its comfort,

yet lost and alone

 

 

Somehow it nourishes,

sustains me to a degree,

while taunting and urging

to face in its direction,

take that first small, faltering step

even as I teeter on the brink

of all that is feared and unknown.

 

 

All around is darkness -

cold, and comforting in its way.

But I am not a child of darkness;

I do not dwell here willingly.

Somehow I must pass through,

come out on the other side

into the warmth and light.

 

 

I cannot ask, but you must know -

Reach out and touch me,

though I am stiff and ice-cold.

We will hold hands and walk

through the misery together

toward that flickering light

that offers a ray of HOPE.

 

 

 There is surely a future hope for you,

and your hope will not be cut off.  

Proverbs 23:18

 

 

...we who have fled to take hold of the hope

offered to us

may be greatly encouraged.

We have this hope as an anchor for the soul,

firm and secure.    

Hebrews 6:18-19

 

**I am trying a  larger print for this post. 
Please let me know if this makes any difference to your viewing.**

The Gifts of Here and Now

 

"I sometimes think we expect too much of Christmas Day.  We try to crowd into it the long arrears of kindliness and humanity of the whole year.  As for me, I like to take my Christmas a little at a time, all through the year.  And thus I drift along into the holidays - let them overtake me unexpectedly - waking up some fine morning and suddenly saying to myself:  "Why, this is Christmas Day!"  ~David Grayson
 

 

Well, not quite - although I do agree with the sentiment, it's obvious it was written by a man. Most of the women I know were busily working on Christmas activities for weeks. I've long felt that if it were not for women, holidays would not be nearly what they are - the positive and the negative side. That, I suppose, is a whole 'nother topic for some other time. But there is much to be said for taking Christmas a little at a time, especially when it comes to priceless gifts.

 

 After the dual dramas of dealing with the moves* of two elderly relatives, we treated ourselves to some early "Christmas gifts". In early October, we - with older sister in tow - made the three hour drive to visit our youngest niece and her dad. Having finally convinced him to make the move last spring, she was anxious for us all to re-connect as soon as possible. We definitely felt the same, as her dad is the husband of the beloved sister we lost two years ago at this time of year. He also suffers from Alzheimer's, so time is of the essence...

 

Love of and connection to family are strong forces in most people's lives, but I think take on deeper meaning as we age. As a child, I never thought about, nor could I have envisioned, living without either or my parents or my older sisters. Life simply progressed day by day and many of the thoughts and feelings I had concerned things that were somewhat trivial as I look back on them. They were important to me at the time, however, and I do not mean to infer that they were unimportant, for that is the way of youth. If I had needed to be concerned about my relationship with the rest of my immediate family, I might not have had the energy and drive to pursue the thoughts and actions I did in other areas of my young life.
 

 

As it was, I had a fairly carefree childhood and blissfully skipped from one year to the next. Perhaps I was overly naive, but I like to believe that the adults in my life gave me the security and confidence to move forward. I ache for those children who do not have that kind of stability in their lives.

 

My oldest sister went off to college the year I turned two and began teaching the year I entered first grade. She has always been independent, so moved forward in her career, attended graduate school, traveled widely for work and pleasure, and remained single. For most of her life she lived elsewhere in Montana, but always drove home to spend holidays with us. Because of our family-owned floral and greenhouse business, she spent many of those visits home working - either in the store or cooking/cleaning at the house. I never doubted that she would be there and greatly anticipated her visits and hearing stories of her latest travels and adventures. She was always my "Big Sister".

 

Our middle sister, who was only fifteen months younger than the oldest, also went off to college when I was four. She chose her own route, however, and married the love of her life in her senior year. Because he was in graduate school, they moved east immediately and she completed her schooling there. Never again did she live close, but they - eventually with three daughters in tow - made the long trek back to Montana almost every summer. Again, I never doubted that they would come and longingly looked forward to that one precious week when all the family could be together.
 

 

My oldest sister had introduced our other sister and her future husband in college, so she has known him longer than any of us. Even before he married our sister, he blended into our family easily. Raised on a small farm, he had humble beginnings, but chose a career in biochemistry; he eventually earned a PhD, did research, and became a university professor. I fell in love with him early in life, and always, ALWAYS enjoyed talking with him about science, outer space, and spooky "unknowns".  I never doubted that we would always have these wonderful conversations.

 

There is just so much we all take for granted. As little as two and a half years ago none of us foresaw where we would all be today - and maybe that's a good thing. Time and distance have made "in- person" visits difficult, but we have all worked at keeping in touch and that is what really matters.

 

As with we older ones, life circumstances have scattered our progeny across the country and muddied the waters of connectedness. I understand this. I also know that it takes time and effort to establish and maintain any connection. My sincere hope is that they will find the time and make the effort to do that, because there just is no connection on earth like family bonds.

 

And so we made that three hour trek for the specific purpose of maintaining those bonds and establishing new ones. For there are new generations and new relationships to become acquainted with. Our youngest niece and her significant other have also made the same drive to see us twice in the last month for the very same reason. They both have busy careers and active lives, so the decision to come, and the notification to us of same, were done with short notice. No matter - we've all learned to "go with the flow" and be as flexible as we can. Perhaps it takes losing someone or watching them slowly fade away for us to truly value those we have here and now. When it comes to those I cherish, I'll take what I can get whenever I can.

 

It's said that a road runs in both directions and that is certainly true. You see, a simple three hour drive for a weekend visit is not such a simple thing to me - it has great meaning and is one of the finest gifts I could ever receive.

 

"You have to be vulnerable

to have real intimacy with people.

It's a two-way street, you know?"

~ Michelle Pfeiffer

 

*For background on the "dual dramas" of the moves:
November Musing - Part 1
November Musing - Part 2