Friday, April 1, 2011

April Fools

A bit of nonsense, and hackneyed at that...

Gimme Some of that Song and Dance

Did ya' hear the one about
the young whipppersnapper?
Fell for some pretty young thing.
I mean to tell ya',
fell for her hook, line, and sinker.

'Course, it's all water under the bridge now,
but it wasn't a pretty sight.
Un uh, a real tale o' woe.
They say opposites attract
and they was as diff'rent as night and day.
He was from some little one horse town
out in the boon docks,
was slower'n molasses in January,
had the first nickel he ever earned.
So ugly he'd make a freight train take a dirt road.

Didn't have a pot or a window to throw it out of.
Still, he was straight as an arrow
and good as gold.
She, on the other hand,
was from La-La land and the bright lights,
Faster'n greased lightning,
spent money like it grew on trees,
was built like a brick outhouse.

Was born with a silver spoon in her mouth.
You might say, she played around
and was rotten to the core.

So there you have it.
He took to her like a duck to water,
she wouldn't give him the time of day.
He stuck to her like glue,
she avoided him like the plague.

So help me Hannah!
He'd hurry up and wait,
she'd tell him to go jump in the lake.
He'd shake a leg,
she'd sit there like a bump on a log.
On a day so hot you could fry an egg
on the sidewalk,
he set off on Shank's mare - pleased as punch -
to wine and dine her.
Come a-knockin' at her door.
Well, she put the kibosh on that.
She said, "No way, Jose!"
Said it'd be a cold day in hell
before she'd be seen with the likes of him.
Said she wouldn't go for love nor money.
Turned him every which way but loose, she did.

I mean to shout!
He couldn't see the forest for the trees.
He'd look at her like his stomach thought
his throat was cut.
Bit off more'n he could chew, that's for sure.
Quick as a whistle
she told him he could wait 'til the cows come home.
She hit him upside of the head
to get his attention,
then, knocked him out deader'n a doornail.

That's all she wrote.
Well, for cryin' out loud
it ain't over 'til the fat lady sings.
So play it again, Sam -
All's fair in love and war.

All sulptures found at
Helena, Montana


  1. Wonderful! Congratulations to you, too, on your first year of blogging. I really enjoy reading your observations.

  2. THAT WAS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i read it 2X...and the pictures!! those sculptures!! i LOVED it!!!!!! the lines, phrases...reminds me of lyrics...all put together so well!. it flowed! WOW!! i really enjoyed that Ladybug!! :]

    (by the way...i commented back...w/ keychain IDer website, but just in case u don't go back there to see...here it is: http://www.acornnaturalists.com/store/ANIMAL-SCAT-KEYCHAIN-IDENTIFICATION-GUIDE-P2877C650.aspx)

    anyway...i'm glad i came back here to leave that...cause I NEEDED that!! :]laura

  3. THANKS, Sherrie & Laura for your kind words - and Laura, I'll definitely order that scat ID guide. Looks like it's really a handy one to have. Thanks for taking the additional time to give me that info. This post was kind of crazy, but I enjoyed doing it - and I'm sure I'll add some more crazy ones as time goes one.

  4. It's been years since Betty and I went to the Archie Bray Museum. It's fascinating isn't it. You've taken the imagery to another level. Very intriquing.