April Fools

A bit of nonsense, and hackneyed at that...

Gimme Some of that Song and Dance

Did ya' hear the one about

the young whipppersnapper?

Fell for some pretty young thing.

I mean to tell ya',

fell for her hook, line, and sinker.

'Course, it's all water under the bridge now,

but it wasn't a pretty sight.

Un uh, a real tale o' woe.

They say opposites attract

and they was as diff'rent as night and day.

He was from some little one horse town

out in the boon docks,

was slower'n molasses in January,

had the first nickel he ever earned.

So ugly he'd make a freight train take a dirt road.

Didn't have a pot or a window to throw it out of.

Still, he was straight as an arrow

and good as gold.

She, on the other hand,

was from La-La land and the bright lights,

Faster'n greased lightning,

spent money like it grew on trees,

was built like a brick outhouse.

Was born with a silver spoon in her mouth.

You might say, she played around

and was rotten to the core.

So there you have it.

He took to her like a duck to water,

she wouldn't give him the time of day.

He stuck to her like glue,

she avoided him like the plague.

So help me Hannah!

He'd hurry up and wait,

she'd tell him to go jump in the lake.

He'd shake a leg,

she'd sit there like a bump on a log.

On a day so hot you could fry an egg

on the sidewalk,

he set off on Shank's mare - pleased as punch -

to wine and dine her.

Come a-knockin' at her door.

Well, she put the kibosh on that.

She said, "No way, Jose!"

Said it'd be a cold day in hell

before she'd be seen with the likes of him.

Said she wouldn't go for love nor money.

Turned him every which way but loose, she did.

I mean to shout!

He couldn't see the forest for the trees.

He'd look at her like his stomach thought

his throat was cut.

Bit off more'n he could chew, that's for sure.

Quick as a whistle

she told him he could wait 'til the cows come home.

She hit him upside of the head

to get his attention,

then, knocked him out deader'n a doornail.

That's all she wrote.

Well, for cryin' out loud

it ain't over 'til the fat lady sings.

So play it again, Sam -

All's fair in love and war.

All sulptures found at

Archie Bray Foundation for the Ceramic Arts

Helena, Montana