When venturing out these evenings, I am mesmerized
by lights. Recently, long lines of cars filled the late autumn darkness with
what seemed like a thousand glistening spider webs, awesome in their
perfection. White, bluish, and red, they appeared as the frozen, steady glow of
large individual sparks from a giant Fourth of July sparkler. Honestly, they’re
hard to describe in their brilliant uniqueness. And it’s all because of my “new
eyes.”
I
distinctly remember the small room and hallway; it seemed like a whole new
world to my left eye. No one told me that my vision had darkened, yellowed, and
become blurry THAT much. Possibly they did, but I hadn’t believed them. I
thought I could see just fine; could still read, if the light was bright
enough; could still see traffic signs, if I got close enough. I’d put off the
surgery for a few years, knowing it was just a matter of time before I’d really need it. The eye doctor told me
that everyone, if they lived long enough, was likely to develop cataracts.
Also, that the procedures had improved over time, there were choices as to what
kind of lens to have put in, and that the success rate was high. I didn’t fear the
surgery, but life was busy, and I just couldn’t be bothered. When I finally
decided to go ahead, the results were more than I ever expected.
After
the second surgery, my right eye took longer to heal and focus. During the
first long week of recovery, the thought occurred to me that I might never see
well through that eye again. There was always that slight possibility, of
course, but I clung to the hope that all would end well. Fortunately, it did,
and I was greatly surprised by the
vision I now have: objects in clear focus both near and far; colors that look
pleasingly different from before; overall, a brighter, whiter world. The new
artificial lenses in my eyes allow me to see all this, BUT, bright lights
shining directly at me (including the myriad stars in the night sky…) appear
with these magnificent prisms of light radiating out of them.
Life is
full of risks, and sometimes we have no option about taking them. Often,
however, we can choose and must carefully weigh what’s at stake and if the risk
is worth it. This year, during this season, I contemplate what vision really is
and wonder: What if Mary had never believed the angel and had run away or Joseph
had rejected her as she was, unborn child and all? What if the journey to
Bethlehem had never been taken or the innkeeper had found room for two more?
What if the shepherds had hidden in fear or the angels had been out on strike?
What if the Magi had miscalculated the position of that one bright star or had
done exactly as King Herod requested? What if we find we don’t really believe
it at all? What is it we think we see and does
or can that vision ever change?
My
faith journey, as perhaps yours, has been long, meandering, and evolving. I’ve
taken some wrong turns and come to some dead ends, hit some slick spots and
lost control. I’ve had to stop to re-fuel or just take a rest, but I’ve kept
going just the same. For I know that I’m not the main driver; the light
continues to shine, directing and guiding my trek through this thing called
life. Sometimes, it even appears as a giant sparkler, giving me joy in the
darkest of nights.
This
season, I wish the same for you.
When
Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will
never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." ~ John 8: 12
