What We Think We See

 

When venturing out these evenings, I am mesmerized by lights. Recently, long lines of cars filled the late autumn darkness with what seemed like a thousand glistening spider webs, awesome in their perfection. White, bluish, and red, they appeared as the frozen, steady glow of large individual sparks from a giant Fourth of July sparkler. Honestly, they’re hard to describe in their brilliant uniqueness. And it’s all because of my “new eyes.”

 

I distinctly remember the small room and hallway; it seemed like a whole new world to my left eye. No one told me that my vision had darkened, yellowed, and become blurry THAT much. Possibly they did, but I hadn’t believed them. I thought I could see just fine; could still read, if the light was bright enough; could still see traffic signs, if I got close enough. I’d put off the surgery for a few years, knowing it was just a matter of time before I’d really need it. The eye doctor told me that everyone, if they lived long enough, was likely to develop cataracts. Also, that the procedures had improved over time, there were choices as to what kind of lens to have put in, and that the success rate was high. I didn’t fear the surgery, but life was busy, and I just couldn’t be bothered. When I finally decided to go ahead, the results were more than I ever expected.

 

After the second surgery, my right eye took longer to heal and focus. During the first long week of recovery, the thought occurred to me that I might never see well through that eye again. There was always that slight possibility, of course, but I clung to the hope that all would end well. Fortunately, it did, and I was greatly  surprised by the vision I now have: objects in clear focus both near and far; colors that look pleasingly different from before; overall, a brighter, whiter world. The new artificial lenses in my eyes allow me to see all this, BUT, bright lights shining directly at me (including the myriad stars in the night sky…) appear with these magnificent prisms of light radiating out of them.

 

Life is full of risks, and sometimes we have no option about taking them. Often, however, we can choose and must carefully weigh what’s at stake and if the risk is worth it. This year, during this season, I contemplate what vision really is and wonder: What if Mary had never believed the angel and had run away or Joseph had rejected her as she was, unborn child and all? What if the journey to Bethlehem had never been taken or the innkeeper had found room for two more? What if the shepherds had hidden in fear or the angels had been out on strike? What if the Magi had miscalculated the position of that one bright star or had done exactly as King Herod requested? What if we find we don’t really believe it at all? What is it we think we see and does or can that vision ever change?

 

My faith journey, as perhaps yours, has been long, meandering, and evolving. I’ve taken some wrong turns and come to some dead ends, hit some slick spots and lost control. I’ve had to stop to re-fuel or just take a rest, but I’ve kept going just the same. For I know that I’m not the main driver; the light continues to shine, directing and guiding my trek through this thing called life. Sometimes, it even appears as a giant sparkler, giving me joy in the darkest of nights.

 

This season, I wish the same for you.

When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the  light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."   ~ John 8: 12

Navigating the Season

"And there is quite a different sort of conversation around a fire than there is in the shadow of a beech tree.... Four dry logs have in them all the circumstance necessary to a conversation of four or five hours, with chestnuts on the plate and a jug of wine between the legs. Yes, let us love winter, for it is the spring of genius." ~Pietro Aretino, translated from Italian

 

The days are definitely shorter now, with darkness creeping in around 4 P.M. these days where we live. We've had unusually bright, clear weather with much less rainfall - November was about nine inches below normal, I'm told. Dryness is relative, however, and so we have had some rain.

A cold air mass has pushed in, bringing temperatures in the 20s and 30s and leaving those perpetual puddles covered in ice. Hearing of the heavy snow storms expected across the country, I'm reminded of the years we spent in places where winter snows were the norm. I enjoyed those places and climes, but today I am content to be where I am.

Most of our flower and vegetable plots are looking rather ragged now, but the many conifers and other evergreen species keep the green going. Lingonberries, winterberries, and holly provide bright spots of red among the remaining leaves and stark, bare, branches. Already, many native shrubs and trees are putting forth small buds that will gradually grow, swell, and burst open when conditions are favorable. No matter how dark, cold, and wet winter is, there is always new life just waiting below the surface for its time to reappear. That is one of the things that I love about winter - the perpetual process of regeneration and promise of spring.

All seasons serve a purpose and I believe that winter is the time for rest and renewal. It is a time for slowing down, changing gears, and looking inward. In the past, when more of us were closer to the growing, harvesting, and marketing of food and goods and much more connected to the earth, this was easier to do. During the growing season we were kept busy and active; during the non-growing season we had time to regroup, reflect, and recreate. A part of us still wants this - colder, darker weather makes us seek warmth, light, and food that comforts us and draws us together.

Innately, I believe that most of us still seek this, but the plethora of technology nowadays seems to consume many of us and draw us into its spell. It seems to offer much of the light, warmth, and "food" that we crave and can connect us to others in ways we never imagined before. But like all things, moderation is important and the latest gadgets can, and often do, also cut us off from others in important ways. In our constant quest to be more "connected", do we not often invest much time and energy mentally removed from those who should matter? It is something that I think is worth thinking about because - I promise you - no machine is going to miss you when you're eventually gone...

The busy, hectic holiday season is once more upon us and seems to start earlier and earlier each year. Bottom line: BUY! Yes, there is some mention of gratitude and giving, but more and more those seem to take second place behind the buying. In our consumer society, we all seem to be on an ever-speeding treadmill to always get that one more thing that will make us, or those close to us, happy. But really, no amount of spending and buying will do that because it has to come from within. Yes, many of us know this and give lip service to the fact, but it's just too easy to get swept away with all the hype. Those who market to the rest of us are very good at it.

Once again, we struggle to make sense of it all. That is why I still believe that in this dark, cold season it does us good to look inside ourselves to see what we can discover. Why are we here and just what should we be doing in this place and time? What do we truly want to do and how can we do that given our circumstances? Heady stuff for sure. And, is it even worth thinking about or should we maybe just check that smart phone one more time?

"There is a privacy about it which no other season gives you.... In spring, summer and fall people sort of have an open season on each other; only in the winter, in the country, can you have longer, quiet stretches when you can savor belonging to yourself."
~Ruth Stout

Below are some ideas I previously offered for how we have zeroed in on what's important for us during the holidays - click on the titles:

Holidays 1. Prepare Yourself

 

 

Holidays 2. Figure It Out

 

 

Holidays 3. Forge Ahead

 

 

Holidays 4. Celebrate!

 

 

Holidays 5. Afterthoughts

Holidays: 4. Celebrate!

When a holiday arrives, focus on simply enjoying it in whatever fashion you choose. Once the "big day" is here, it's time to celebrate! If priorities have been set, preparations planned and carried out beforehand, then everything should fall into place. If not, you know what you need to do for next year. Even with the best of intentions, however, unexpected things can occur that might disrupt the best-laid plans. Adjusting your attitude and rolling with the punches certainly can help get you through. Concentrate on what is most meaningful.

The home-made part of our Christmas this year was again the baked goods and special meals. My sister flies in from Montana to spend a week with us, which is one of only two times a year we see each other, so is much anticipated. I planned the week's meals, leaving enough wiggle room for any changes that might come up, including a meal or two out. Good thing, too, as those things did occur! While shopping, I happened upon locally-made potato sausage, which is one of my husband's favorites from his childhood and Scandinavian heritage. Although it was not on my carefully planned list, I did buy some and his delight with that meal made the change well worthwhile.

 

 

 

For weeks before Christmas, I worked hard to create two special rag quilt bedspreads for our grand-kiddos. These took hours and hours to make, but I felt they were well worth the effort. With matching sheet sets, they seemed to be much appreciated. Although not as much fun as age-appropriate play things, my hope is that these will be a longer-lasting reminder of the love we have for each of them.

 

One of our family traditions that my husband got from his dad is a cleverly-written hint on each gift tag. He also delights in wrapping all sorts of noisemakers, weights, etc. into a package so as to confuse the recipient who may (will) carefully inspect and shake the gift before opening it. This usually involves all sorts of containers of nails, screws, or BBs, and heavy bricks or pieces of wood. It makes the unwrapping of gifts a lot of fun, regardless of what the gifts are. This year I wrote a poem hint to go on each of the quilt packages. Here is the one for the blue jean quilt:

 

Blue Jean Dreams

Grampa wears blue jeans,

Your Dad, he does too.

And you may have noticed,

These jeans don’t look new.

 

Grampa’s worn Levis

501s for a while,

Your dad seems to wear

Whatever’s in style.

 

These jeans have seen things

You and I never will,

So study at each piece

As you lie there, so still.

 

With garden soil and sawdust,

Oil and gasoline,

These jeans have been dirtied

Through good times and lean.

 

 

And maybe you’ll notice,

There’s a ladybug, too.

Gramma stitched it in the ‘70s -

It now belongs to you.

 

Pieced carefully together,

As families sometimes are,

And stitched with much love,

These jeans have come far!

 

So wrap it around you,

It’s yours now to keep,

We wish you sweet dreams,

Each night as you sleep.

 

 

A large snow storm was predicted for our area on Christmas morning, so we warned our son that we might need to celebrate with him and the grand kids on another day. That morning, as the snow arrived and began to accumulate, my mind began spinning out ideas for another celebration - "just in case". Fortunately the snow turned to rain and all went off as planned. With laughter, gift unwrapping, cameras clicking and boxes, bows, and paper strewn across the living room, we enjoyed the time we had to the fullest. The turkey came out of the oven, the table was set, and every single person - the small and the tall - helped in some way to prepare our feast. For those not with us - nieces and brother-in-law far away and the sister we lost last year at this time - we remembered, spoke of, and talked to by phone, so our important connections were made and maintained.

 

 

Glitches? Oh yes, there were those! The week before Christmas, my husband suffered an accident in his workshop that necessitated a 911 call, trip to the ER, and 13 stitches to close a large rip in the palm of his hand. He's mending well, and even sported a bright red wrap on that hand on Christmas Eve day, put there by a wonderful "Mrs. Claus" at the medical clinic.

 

 

I did not get our cookies baked before my sis arrived, so we baked a batch a day for 3 days. These were all new ones I wanted to try - none of my usual ones, but they were well-liked.

 

 

 Our church is in the middle of a large building project which necessitates most of us parking along the edge of the adjoining cemetery. The usual Christmas Eve services were changed to only one in the late afternoon and parking was muddy and messy, but a lot of people made it and the candles glowing in the growing dusk still brought tears to my eyes as we sang Silent Night. I remembered that humble birth from so long ago, the precious sister no longer with us, and the loving one beside me. What a special night spent with special people...

 

 

Because of the "hand incident" and other things, my final week of sewing was disrupted, so the second rag quilt did not get finished. No worries, though, because our grand-daughter got her sheets, a couple of other things, and this poem with the beginnings of her quilt: 

Memory Quilt

 

The best-laid plans

Of men and mice,

Sometimes don’t work,

And that’s NOT nice!

 

People have problems,

And time gets short,

So try as we did,

This ship “missed its port”.

 

 

It might look quite ragged,

Pieced together just so,

And it’s barely big enough

To cover one toe.

 

But – WAIT – there’s still hope!

If you can patient be,

Another week, or two,

Or maybe even three…

 

It will come together,

We’ll add so much more,

And we think this warm gift

Will be worth waiting for.

 

When complete, it will warm you

And make quite a set,

For it matches some other

Warm things you will get.

 

One thing to remember,

Imperfect as we be,

Love sometimes takes time,

To get to you from me!

 

 

And ain't that the truth!!

 

To add to the fun, one of our nieces called back on Christmas Day to say she'd like to drive up the next day with her dog and significant other (not necessarily in that order...) for a short visit. We see each other seldom, so welcomed this chance to see her. She's recently learned that her body is intolerant of gluten and other things, so we quickly put our heads together and with some internet searches and a few things she brought from home, we managed to share the remnants of our Christmas feast in a form that worked for all of us. Although I sometimes curse it, technology really can be a marvelous tool at times like this.

 

 

And so our Christmas holiday, although certainly not perfect, was considered a success by all in our family. We connected in meaningful ways - gave, received, shared, ate, laughed, cried, and are left with the sweet, mellow afterglow of times well-spent. What more could we want?

 

TO BE CONTINUED HERE:
 

Holidays: 5 Afterthoughts



 

I Don't Do Angels

"Angels we have heard on high

Sweetly singing o’er the plains

And the mountains in reply

Echoing their joyous strains"

 

 I don't do angels. I mean it - I really don't

 

 I don't mean real angels, of course, but the myriad little cutesy decorative items found everywhere these days. You know the kind - everything from chubby naked babies, long-haired beauties in flowing robes , and masculine types with armor and swords to puppies, kittens, bears and monkeys - all depicted with wings, fluttering in air, and totally adorable. I don't do those!

The word "angel" comes from Hebrew and Greek words which mean “messenger” and is used to describe any agent that God sends to do his will. Angels are mentioned at least 108 times in the Old Testament and 165 times in the New Testament of the Bible. They are often depicted as spirits, rather than physical beings, and don't have to be visible at all. But they can take on the appearance of men or women and sometimes appear in dazzling white and blazing glory. Sometimes an angel appears to be a man with highly unusual features.

Although some Bible passages picture angels with wings or talk about angels flying, most references say nothing about wings. And it does not always refer to heavenly beings; sometimes, the Bible uses these words for human beings, sometimes it speaks figuratively of things or events as "messengers", but it usually describes the whole range of spirits whom God has created, including both good and evil angels, and special categories such as cherubim, seraphim and the archangel. However, angels in the Bible never appear as cute, chubby infants - they are always full-grown adults. When people in the Bible saw an angel, their typical response was to fall on their faces in fear and awe, not to reach out and tickle an adorable baby.

In art, angels are often depicted with wings on their back, a halo, robes and various forms of glowing light. But angels are not limited to Christianity. The term "angel" has also been expanded to various notions of supernatural beings or spirits found in many other religious traditions, as well as occultism. Is it any wonder, then, that we find decorative angels in all shapes and sizes?
 

 

It appears that angels serve a valuable purpose. Their job descriptions might well include worship and praise, revealing, guiding, providing, protecting, delivering, strengthening and encouraging, answering prayer, and caring for believers at the moment of death.

 

So have I ever actually met a real angel? My first impulse would be to say no, but considering all of the above, I do believe I have - many times and in many different forms. I believe we all have.

An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified.

But the angel said to them. "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord..."  
Luke 2:9-11